Melodic Thoughts
by SaiyanWarrior200
Summary: Tayuya writes down her thoughts and feelings in a Diary she has been given over what has happened. AU Oneshot. Rated T for Cursing. Read and Review please.


So, whoever the hell is reading this, know that my name is Tayuya you pervert and this is my diary that I've been given to jot down whatever the hell I feel like putting in this stupid thing.

Seeing how its MY Diary, you've got no business sticking your damn nose into it and I'll find you and bent it in ways it wasn't meant to be once I get my hands on you for reading this and prying into my privacy.

I suppose I should start at the beginning, I've been forced to write stuff into this stupid book under the orders of the giant chested Hokage, saying how it'll help me express how I feel or some crap like that if I do. Honestly I feel like this is a waste of time and the only good use for this is to be target practice for a kunai. That or toilet paper…

I'm what you would call on probation and being forced to aid Konohagakure, The Hidden Village in The Leaves. It was either that or execution and I don't know about you scum but I prefer my head not rolling on the ground so I went with the first option. They say that if I'm good and don't cause any trouble I'll be granted freedom and not have those ANBU watching me like they expect me to pull a bomb out and detonate it. Yeah right, they really think I buy them for one second?

I suppose you're wondering why I'm here. Surprise surprise, this dump isn't my home. I was found after I lost to that pineapple haired bum and that fan wielding sow defeated me and was taken back, my legs were in rough shape from the injuries I had sustained during the battle.

My comrades if you could call them that are dead, I'm not shedding any tears over that. Why should I? They weren't my friends, and they wouldn't have batted an eye if I had died either. We were forced to work together as a unit we were pretty good if I say so myself. We were sent on a mission to retrieve a prick and bring him back but those stupid assholes appeared trying to stop us.

I'll never understand why, he had willingly abandoned them and turned traitor and didn't care about them anymore. They were throwing their lives away going after him. If this is Konoha's mindset and how they act, I'm failing to see how this place is still standing.

I got separated from the others and fought The Nara, I was holding my own against him and was ready to kill him as I had beaten all his stupid shadow tricks when that Sand Wench showed up. If I hadn't wasted all my power and chakra fighting him I would've been able to beat her instead of being crushed by trees.

ARRGH! That stupid blonde dumbass is shouting again! I can hear him even in my home, he just so happens to like to perch on top of a roof nearby where I'm living and bellow at the top of his lungs. You think that with the training I've underwent they would've realized I hate loud noises! Why hasn't anyone killed that moron or that dumbass in the green jumpsuit is beyond me! The benefits of my old home, if someone was annoying you, you could kill them and no one would bat an eye whatsoever at what you did. Here you get looked at as if you were some kind of monster. Would anyone really miss him or care if I slipped rat poison into that Ramen he's always shoving down his gullet and he choked to death on it?

Where was I? Oh yeah, I got crushed by a freakin' forest and was discovered by the Leaf who saw I was still alive. I was taken back and next thing I know I'm tied to a bed with straps around my arms and legs holding me down. Not like I would've been able to run off anyway with the condition I was in…

It's me again, I've decided to fill in the gap. The Godaime who's breasts are as big as the lard bucket of the Akimichi Clan's head gave me an offer, in my current state it'd be months or even years for my legs to heal, she offered to restore and remove the scars from my legs. In exchange for doing so, I would have to give information I'd have and what I know about what's going on.

I really wasn't in the mood to tell her anything with how shitty my legs were and how sick to my damn stomach I felt.

In case you hadn't noticed, I swear, what? You got a problem with that? Too bad, that's just how I am, with all that's gone on in my life (which I ain't putting down in here for your snooping eyes to find) I feel as though I have the right to cuss people out and those who think that since I'm a girl I should be all dainty and flowerlike. Give me a break, I'm me, that's who I am and who I'll always be, would they rather I stutter like that pitiful Hyuga girl and never raise my voice at all? That's a load of crap, I'll always be who I am, instead of being what someone else wants me to be. That's what my mother always-forget it I already told you I ain't putting down my past and my family.

I thought it over and agreed to it and she undid the damage to my legs. That pink broad who's teammates with that blonde idiot I told you about was watching on as Tsunade did, I didn't think much of her, but seeing her whack him when he was shouting and being a bigger moron than usual made me like her a bit as I was about to do the same if she hadn't.

My legs were healed and it took three weeks for me to relearn and get the damn muscles working so I'd be able to walk and run again. If you wanna know what it's like to not get up and walk after doing so for so long, I'd be more than happy to show you what I've gone through…

I swear that blonde girl couldn't carry a tune if she was given handles. I saw her singing badly and off key to flowers, it's a wonder they didn't wilt and die before her with how damn bad she is. And don't get me started on that mutt and his walking fleabag and tick boy.

Music is one of the few things in life I enjoy, the few moments when I can sit back and enjoy myself I enjoy playing my flute and listening to its music fill the air. Times like that I can forget about my stinkin' life and enjoy myself. It's what I can do and feel solace and maybe, feel peace within my soul. Too bad the people here like to gather and watch me play as if I'm some sort of playing monkey for them to witness.

It's been over a month since my legs were restored, that loudmouth is gone, apparently he left to go on a training trip or something, I don't care and I hope it's a long one as I'd enjoy not listening to him shouting at the top of his damn lungs.

A month may not seem long but to me it feels like years have passed, I remember serving my lord and master with my sole duty being to kill anyone who opposes him. Now, I'm stuck in the place he tried to destroy. Before I was tempted to run the moment I regained the usage of my legs and nearly did so but I have stayed here in this place. He never has bothered to retrieve or see if I was alive, that's the type of person he is as I've seen him do it before and now it's happened to me. Some here in his place treat me indifferently and don't care what I do or buy but I can tell just by looking at the scumbags.

I see the looks, I can hear their mumblings, how some want me to die for taking part in the attack which killed The previous Hokage, but I know the whole lot of them don't have the stones to try and attack me even as a group as I'd kill them in an instant if they even attempted it. They might cry and whine foul but if they attack me, then it's Self Defense what I'm doing and its in my right. Though I wonder if they are just looking for the excuse for them to execute me…

I don't know why the hell I'm still writing in this, I'm not getting anything out of it. I might as well just throw this in a fire or something.

Tayuya, that is my name, Tayuya of The North Gate I was formerly known as. Now, what am I? A prisoner? An enemy? Or something else entirely? Hell, I don't know what I'm going to do with my damn life now. That which had been drilled into my mind is now empty and hollow with what has happened these past months. Sleep doesn't do me any good either as my nights are spent remembering everything that's happened.

The Godaime has asked me to join and become an official ninja of The Leaf and start a new life as those here can vouch for my skills, she really believes just like that? That I, a Kunoichi who has murdered and killed several from here will be forgiven just like that? And yet, a part of me is tempted to accept her offer she's put on the table though I feel like this is nothing more than a stupid prank she's pulling on me and baiting me.

On my desk in my living room is a hitai-ate, I've never been one for wearing one of those to be frank. On it is the symbol of The Hidden Leaf, having been placed there when the offer was made. I haven't touched it this whole time yet its always there whenever I enter the room as if calling out to me.

The dirt bag who found and read this, you'll find out if I decide to do so on my next entry.


End file.
